I often long to sit beneath the canopy of stars. It seems calming and romantic but I usually head inside and pursue final daily tasks until I am tired enough to collapse in bed and fall asleep right away. I don't like lying awake in bed. It's obnoxious to me, and a little painful. (But, back to the stars). I laid upside down on our driveway tonight. Boy, are they pretty! There were SO many! And summers' breeze rushed over my bare arms. It was a sweet, small joy.
It is invevitable, that the new and used pain in me is here tonight...Even as I move one foot in front of the other...Even as I pursue the treasures of my day. It doesn't go away but simply moves around inside my heart, pushing itself to the surface and even lounging in my deepest blessings and joys. The people I love the most, and the places that are as home to me are simply some of the most painful people to be with and places to be. I don't want to be anywhere!!! and at the same time I long to be everywhere and surrounded by all things.
And I have learned this: That pain is woven into the fabric of life, and I need to decide, somehow, that I'm finally okay with that.
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